Only Children

"God loves each of us as if there were only one of us." St. Augustine

I've often laughed that I raised three only children. I am an only child. It's been easy at times to understand the concept that God loves each of us as if we were His only child. Possibly a little self-absorbed, but easy. When I pray I just know He is listening intently to what I am saying and really caring about the answer to my prayers. That "feeling" has made it much easier to go to Him in prayer, to expect to see the answers to those prayers. If I step back from that easy relationship and look at the complexity of it all it really is too much for me to comprehend.

There are so many of us, there are so many problems and concerns and cares--how can He hear my singular prayer about my minuscule problem? That's when I think of my own children. They are all so different. They lead very, very different lives and have their own unique problems and concerns. Some they share, some I can only imagine or discern. Yet each of my children's lives are of utmost importance to me. I want to know if they are happy or sad, if they are getting enough rest and food, if their relationships are fulfilling or stressful. I want to know that every step they are taking in their lives is leading them on a journey that will be satisfying as they look back. I want to see them become caring people to the less fortunate, sensitive to the hurting and loving to the unlovable. I want them to freely communicate their cares to me. I desperately want to see them in a relationship with the Lord that will sustain them for all of eternity. When I think on these things I realize how God thinks of each of us. If I, a mere mortal mother, have these feelings for my own children how much more the eternal God must have for His children!

"He is always thinking about us. We are before His eyes. The Lord's eye never sleeps, but is always watching out for our welfare. We are continually on His heart." C.H. Spurgeon

"Even before God created the heavens and the earth, He knew you and me, and He chose us! You and I were born because it was God's good pleasure." Kay Arthur

Can you imagine that? I can on a finite level, but only because He so graciously put those same feelings on a smaller scale in me for my own children. Have you known that kind of love? Did your parents listen and love and care? Did you know that when you talked they really, really listened? Or, maybe you can relate as I do, because you know the depths of love you have for your children. No matter what your experiences, no matter what your past, I hope this new year brings you to a place with God that you want to draw closer then you ever have dared before. If you have had no relationship, I hope you will begin. James 4:8 says, "Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you." We draw near to God when we understand and accept John 3:16, "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." God made the way for those of us who are so imperfect to draw near to Him in all of His perfection through Jesus Christ, His Son.

If you have accepted Christ as your Savior but you still don't feel the closeness, you still don't feel like an only child in His kingdom of so many children; I pray you will continue that drawing near by reading His word, the Bible. No matter how inferior you feel today or how many doubts you have that God could care about you in so personal a way, I pray that you step out in faith by praying--casting all of your cares and concerns upon Him. Talk to Him! Start a prayer journal, write down the prayers AND the answers to your prayers that He provides you. I think you will be astonished by the depths of His caring, the abundance of His love. Then I hope you will share with us your journey.

Dreams

"We spend our lives dreaming of the future, not realizing that a little of it slips away every day." Barbara Johnson

When I was young I was such a dreamer! Our family was part of the great middle class that came to be after World War II. My father was one of the young soldiers that enlisted right out of high school. He left the family farm where he had known poverty and saw people and places he had only read about in his small town library. When he did return he quickly married a very young girl from a tiny, tiny Texas town and together they began a life of travel and parties and upward mobility. I never lived the life they had grown up in. I grew up neither rich nor poor--in the middle. I loved to read books about other lands and other lifestyles. Television was a huge part of my home life. I grew up in America; the land of opportunity, the land where dreams could come true if you worked hard enough for them. So I dreamed.

As a little girl I dreamed of being Miss America, of being a movie star, of living a life of glamor in New York City. In my angst filled teenage years I dreamed of boys, marriage, babies but also of being a hippie and living in a commune, of protesting in Washington D.C. and making a difference in the world. I dreamed of singing like Joanie Mitchell, dancing Swan Lake and winning an Academy Award--the world was exciting and filled with promise.

Somewhere along the years the dreams got smaller and smaller until one day in my forties I realized they had disappeared. I no longer dreamed of my future and what I might be able to achieve if I just worked hard enough. Had I gotten to a place of contentment or complacency--or defeat? I looked backwards alot now and in the dark times I was looking back at all of the dreams that had not come true. I hadn't done any of the great things I had dreamed of in my youth. I had married and raised children. At the time that seemed to be all I could handle.

Now, the children I raised are gone. They are in that period of life where they are trying to achieve their own dreams. I see it in the way they live their lives. They are very busy people. I tried the other day to think about dreams I might want to revive for the balance of my life. I had a hard time thinking of any. Then I read the quote by Barbara Johnson and it made the light bulb go off. I really don't want to spend the remainder of my days dreaming. So much time has already slipped away. For the time left I want to just trust. Trust that my Heavenly Father will achieve those things in me that He planned before I was even born. Trust that I'm not going to miss anything that He has for me. Trust that, if I'll just surrender my plans and dreams to Him, He will guide my life and give me the desires of my heart. I want to build my future on trust not dreams because in that trust are the promises.

"For I know the plans I have for you--declares the Lord. Plans for your welfare, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11

He always knew His plans for me--and for you. He always knew that I wasn't going to live an amazing life in New York City, but He knew that two of my children would. He knew I wasn't ever going to be a hippie and work to change the world, but He knew that my oldest son would. He knew I wasn't going to ever win the Academy Award, but He knew that my daughter would be an amazing actress who might. He knew His plans for me were to raise children who would be so much braver and brighter and that they would do amazing things that I could only dream of. He knew He would give me spiritual children to nurture and love and one day those spiritual kids would do so much more then anything I could dream of accomplishing. He knew that these things would bring me more joy and fulfillment then any of the silly dreams I had dreamed on my own.

I'm in this new stage of my life--not wasting an instant dreaming of what I'll be one day, but trusting the Lord for each day, for each moment. I want the balance of my life to be exactly what He wants it to be. I want to accomplish all that He has for me to do. I want to be the "good and faithful servant" and to trust Him for the results.

I know there are some of you who are reading this who have had your dreams crushed and destroyed--maybe even today. I know how badly that hurts and I'm sorry that you are going through that pain, but I want you to know that you aren't going to miss "it". "It" may not look like the dream you have been dreaming--mine certainly didn't--but "it" will look exactly like God's plan for your life from the beginning. His good and loving plan for you. If you've been struggling and trying so hard to be or to earn or to achieve and you just can't get there, please know that there is another way--a better way--God's way. Trust His word, hold on tight to His promises. What does He promise you? If you are His child--you've prayed and asked Him to forgive your sins and to be your Savior--He promises you Jeremiah 29:11 and so much more!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Hopefully there will be enough time tomorrow to write another post but I could not pass up this opportunity to wish you all a HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! We just celebrated on the east coast of the USA. It is so exciting to me that we now have readers of the blog from every continent except Antarctica and I just praise the Lord for each of you! I pray most of all that you know my Savior Jesus Christ personally and that if you don't, this new year will be the year of your salvation! THAT would be something to celebrate! If you have time, please post comments about how you celebrated this new year, or about your salvation experience or your walk with the Lord last year. If God gives you one, you could post a prayer for the new year!

As I posted in Facebook today: 

God bless each of you as we ring in the New Year, the new decade and the new beginnings in our lives! "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jer 29:11